“You wouldn’t allow people to tread mud through your house, so why let them do it through your mind?” – Anonymous
What comes to mind when we think of Home?
We think of a place that keeps us safe and sound.
Of a secure structure that protects us from the outside – a safe haven and a comfort zone.
We think of a place in which to feel assured and, oftentimes, we think of this space as a reflection of our tastes, our thoughts, our experiences and our likes.
We think of a house. A brick and mortar house.
Take a look at the home you currently reside in. Take a look around.
Look at the things you have in your home that are special and have deep meaning to you.
Try and recall the time you took deciding whether or not you wanted to bring these items into your home. Remember standing there choosing which colour you preferred? Something inside of you – no matter if you were picking dishcloths or bedding – clicked inside and you said, “I’ll take this one!”
The crockery we loved the best, the couches that were the most comfortable.
The bed, the towels, the curtains and the furniture all handpicked by you because you loved them.
The aesthetic you wanted to achieve reflected who you are.
Then think about bringing the items home.
You spent time choosing the perfect place to put those items.
You gave them a home and every day you dust, polish, clean and take care of these items.
So why not do the same for yourself?
“Make the most of the most important place on earth – home.” – The Minimalists
We think of a house when we think of home but we should remember that home is also the skin, the mind and the body that we live in..every day for the rest of our lives.
Do we take as much time carving out space for ourselves in our lives as we do for the things we bring into our lives?
Can you recall when you last spent time alone, enjoying your own company?
When was the last time you did something truly nourishing and replenishing for yourself?
When last did you feel energised, invigorated and excited about life?
Do you ever feel mentally fatigued, experience constant uncertainty or lack of clarity in your day-to-day life?
How do you recharge and reset?
What do you absolutely love to do?
If you felt at a bit of a loss here, and have forgotten how to prioritise yourself; read on.
Hold Space
Imagine for a moment that you visit a therapist’s office.
During the consultation, the therapist asks you how you are feeling. Immediately after you answer, the therapist proceeds to talk about all the latest research related to your answer and how they deal with it, how many of their patients have the same experiences, and here is a prescription and and and before sending you on your way.
It shouldn’t happen like that, right?
No, they should take you into their office and ask you questions to find out how you are really feeling, how they can help you and hold space for you in those moments.
We tend to be like the first therapist with ourselves.
Our minds are racing and the chatter never stops. We rush from one thing to another and never really allow ourselves a moment to catch up and sit with our feelings, holding space for our emotions.
Holding space means allowing space and time for something or someone, with no judgment or criticism, to simply let be any feelings or thoughts, no matter what they are.
The thing is, feelings and emotions, no matter how much we (consciously) suppress or (unconsciously) repress them, will always find a way to surface. The more we allow them to be, and acknowledge them for what they are, the less the surfacing will result in anxiety, depression and mental and emotional breakdown.
How about trying this on for size?
- Slow down and ask yourself how you are feeling today. Allow whatever arises to simply come up and be there, without passing judgment.
- Reflect on things you have found challenging and how you felt about them.
- Pay attention to the quiet moments in between your thoughts.
- Explore your emotions when you feel them. Ask yourself why you are feeling this way. Remember, thoughts that at first might feel petty have much deeper roots. This is your time to excavate and learn about what is happening beneath the surface. Again, try to remain uncritical and non-judgmental.
Not Just For The Body
Health and wellbeing are not just for the body but for the mind too.
As much time as we spend working on our bodies, stretching, lengthening and strengthening them, so too do our minds need to be stretched, lengthened and strengthened.
Made stronger.
Taking time to prioritize our mental health is important. Finding a balance between analytical and creative activities (at work and at home) will help to stimulate both the left and right sides of the brain. And spending less time engaging in activities that dull our brain power (such as watching too much tv or scrolling endlessly and mindlessly through social media) will help to get those brain neurons firing!
Do this by:
- Cooking and being fully engaged with the food you are making
- Having long conversations with loved ones
- Read books that challenge your thinking or just cause you to be thoughtful
- Having hobbies you enjoy that encourage you to problem solve or trying new hobbies
Final Thought
Too often we rush through our feelings, discarding them, not paying attention to them and not allowing them to happen. There will come a time when we learn that our feelings and thoughts, no matter right or wrong, positive or negative, justified or ignorant, are ours and that we should honour them.
Look at all the things in YOU that are special and have deep meaning to you. Sitting with ourselves quietly, learning who we are, what we like, how we react and deal with situations we are faced with emotions we feel and what we have to say is of vital importance to our growth and evolution….and ultimately our happiness.
You can move out of the brick and mortar house you reside in. But the body, mind and skin in which your soul resides, is, for the rest of your existence, home.
So, for a moment, take a seat.
Take a look inside the home you reside in. Take a look around.
Look at all the traits and characteristics you have brought in and cultivated within you.
Do you like what you see?
Written by: Robyn MacGregor | June 2021
